


falling (probably quite literally) for you (SuperCorp au)

by baby_danvers



Category: Supergirl
Genre: Cute Kara Danvers, F/F, Gaybies, Kara is awkward, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Slow Burn, SuperCorp, karlena, maybe some fluff, supergirlau
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby_danvers/pseuds/baby_danvers
Summary: Kara is literally about as awkward as it gets. She doesn't know how to handle most situations without messing something up. But when she meets her neighbor that has somehow managed to live without catching Kara's attention, Kara can only hope that she doesn't mess this up.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lena dislikes life in general. Her father is gone. Her mother hates her. The only person who has ever cared about her is wasting away in a prison cell.But with her neighbor in her life, maybe she can learn to dislike life a little less.FOREWARNING: The first few chapters are a little rough, I know. Please hang in there!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first time writing any sort of fanfic, so the first few chapters will be rather short to sort of test the waters. Chapters as of now focus on one character's point of view, but once chapters start getting longer, I'll probably start alternating POVs. Please let me know what you guys think! Constructive is criticism certainly welcome.

It was 2:47 A.M.

_Scratch_

She rolled over in bed, holding the pillow tighter to her ear. It usually didn’t come this early. She wondered how it even came at all. How does a cat slip into their high security house? More importantly, why is she the only one in her family who seems to be aware of the cat’s existence?

_Meow_

As annoyed as Lena tried to be with the (maybe not so unwelcome) intruder, the small mews always did it for her. She hopped out of bed, (maybe not as begrudgingly as one might think,) and opened her bedroom door. A slight crack is all it took for the gray tabby to shoot past Lena’s legs and straight onto her bed, where he curled up and started purring almost instantly. Lena sighed, just a little bit. It wasn’t an unhappy sigh, really, honestly. It filled the air with contentedness. Maybe she liked mystery cat more than she let on. And in all honestly, he (she just assumed his gender) wasn’t really that much of a mystery. Lena was a solid 87% sure that he was her neighbor's cat.

The neighbors.

Lena was fond of her neighbors. She didn’t know them all too well, but they were a nice family. Caring parents, two girls. They all seemed to love each other. In a way, maybe in a way that she wasn’t fully aware of, it made Lena’s heart ache. Her life wasn’t all that bad, granted they were actually very wealthy. But Lena cared little for wealth. She couldn’t bring herself to care much for anything. When she was adopted by the Luthors, she had a heart far too big, far too big for the nature of her new family. Her father had little regard for her. He never did anything wrong, but it’s not as if he did anything right either. Her mother was almost the same way, except she intervened. She taught Lena how to succeed. How to be ambitious. How to achieve. Not how to love, not how to care. The only one who seemed to take to her was her adopted brother. Lex was like Lena’s rock. But her rock is gone. Upheaved and crushed. Gone. Not for good, no, but for long enough. Long enough to make Lena forget...forget what it’s like to grow attached to something...to someone.

But when she looked at this cat, it’s almost as if she could feel something shift inside her. Maybe her brain (or her heart) was desperate (how else would a stranger cat change her feelings?) With the cat purring softly in the middle of her bed, (king sized, plenty of room for the both of them,) she couldn’t help but feel...warm. When she gently kissed the top of his head, she thought of her neighbors. She smiled to herself, thinking about how they probably kissed the top of his little head every day. They probably showed him how much he was loved, and Lena couldn’t help but wish that she was loved by someone, (anyone,) but hey, at least this (13%) mystery cat showed up without fail in the early hours of the morning to pay attention to her, which is more than she could say about anyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

_Right. Left. Right. Left._

That’s what it takes. Not to perform some kind of extraordinary, incredible, complex maneuver, but to get Kara Danvers through the day without falling flat on her face in the middle of a crowded high school hallway, where kids your own age are ruthless and will do nothing but look at the anguish in your eyes as you go tumbling down to make it to your date with the floor (trust her, she knows.) She wished Alex was still here. Not that Alex was gone gone, like dead, heck no. Alex was just off to college, because that’s what big sisters do. They turn 18 and find a girlfriend and go off with said girlfriend to college and only go as far as to write letters to their struggling baby sisters. So maybe Kara was a little bitter that one of her only friends (do sisters even count as friends?) had left and she was basically on her own. Okay, she has Winn, but Winn is literally the exact same person as Kara, and that doesn’t help any situation at all, because Kara sucks in any situation at all.

_Right. Left. Right. Left. Lef-_

And there goes the textbooks. And the folders. And her pencil case. And her.

_Hey floor, what’s good?_

Normally, these exchanges with the floor go unnoticed. Well, not necessarily unnoticed. People are certainly well aware of the awkward, cardigan-clad, socially deprived child sprawled on the dirty floor. What she means is that nobody bothers to interact with the situation. Kara thinks of it as a good thing.

And she was about to get up, but then something hits her head, probably a foot, now that she thinks about it, and her glasses go skidding across the floor.

“Oh my actual god I just kicked a child in the head.” She heard the surprisingly surprised voice from above her (c’mon, you would think that someone would notice a human on the floor.)

But it sounded sincere enough. _Ok so maybe that wasn’t out of the natural cruelty of the human race._ Kara thought to herself, her head throbbing just a wee bit.

“Are you alright...Kara?” (Kara’s not sure if the culprit realized that her breath hitched just the tiniest bit at Kara’s name coming out of her mouth, and Kara’s not sure how she even noticed that when she found herself staring into really, surprisingly intense green eyes.) The moment didn’t last long, because both of their attentions were drawn elsewhere when they heard the unmistakable sound of glasses. Not just any regular glasses. Glasses that were currently being trampled over. Kara almost winced at the sound. She’s had those glasses for 7 years. How her eyesight hasn’t managed to get any worse at all, she doesn’t know. But aside from that fact, they were somewhat sentimental to Kara. Don’t ask her why, because she doesn’t know for sure. But sometimes a girl just gets unintentionally emotionally invested in the little contraption that helped her see the world. So much for the world when even the girl’s (who was but a foot away from Kara’s own face) features were blurred (Kara wasn’t sure that she meant to pout at that fact.)

“Hey, maybe you should like, get up,” the girl whispered hurriedly, she was probably more embarrassed by the fact that she was currently associating with Kara than she was with the fact that she had just kicked Kara in the head. Which made complete sense (to Kara, anyways.)

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Getting up.” Kara hefted herself up from the floor, seeming relatively unfazed, (she was tougher than she let on,) and dusted off her pastel blue cardigan. Kara noted how the girl across from her quirked an eyebrow, and at first she thought it might be because she was a judgemental person, and totally being judgy about Kara’s choice of fashion. Then she realized how heavily she was squinting (she was the proud owner of the worst eyesight in the world) and also noted that she was leaning into the girl, not for any other purpose than to see her face clearly, but of course, Kara doubted that she realized that. It was a rather awkward silence, (what are you supposed to say after tripping over your own foot and then getting kicked in the head?) but the other girl spoke up.

“Aren’t you Kara? Danvers? I believe you live right across from me,” (her neighbor? Kara was 87% sure that she’s never seen this girl in her life.)

Kara’s mouth formed an “ooh” shape, but no sound actually came out. Which was weird. _Make a noise, Kara!_

“O-oh. Erm. Yes. That’s me. Kara Danvers,” she held out a hand, “but you already knew that. Obviously.” She retracted a hand. She honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the girl let out a nervous chuckle and backed away slowly.

Instead, the girl let out a smile. A surprisingly genuine one considering it was only carried out through one half of her mouth (is it weird that Kara’s already awkward stance faltered just a little bit more?)

“Lena. And I think I owe you an apology and a seeing eye dog, or something.”


	3. Chapter 3

Lena felt utterly and completely flushed, but only on the inside. On the outside, she remained composed, and it was more for Kara’s sake than it was for Lena’s, really. The poor girl had just taken a foot to a head, had her glasses crushed, and was standing slumped in front of Lena. And of course, this was all Lena’s fault. Yet Kara didn't seem to mind the fact that Lena had just majorly inconvenienced her. As a matter of fact, she seemed kind of curious.

“You said you’re my neighbor?” Kara asked (did she notice that her blonde hair was slightly askew? Lena noticed.)

Lena tugged the left side of her lip up in a half smile. “Yes, I'm fairly certain that we've lived across from each other for about 4 years now.”

“W-wow! That's wild. I don't think I've ever seen you before. Well, I've probably seen you, but I bet I just wasn't paying attention. N-not that I wouldn't want to pay attention to you! I mean, wow. You’re-” Kara was stopped abruptly by a finger on her mouth. Lena’s finger (she noted how smooth Kara’s lips felt on her fingertip.)

“Do you always ramble this much when you meet someone new?”

Kara let out a (nervous?) chuckle. “Essentially yes. But apparently, you're not even that new! How have we been neighbors for 4 years without my knowledge of you?”

“I don't get out often. As a matter of fact, I try to stay in.” She hoped Kara didn't pick up on the twinge of sadness in her voice. Maybe she didn't know about Lex. Lena hoped she didn't know. It would be a shame to see pity on that face of hers. _Not a bad looking face, mind you._ Lena thought to herself.

“Lena, are you alright? You're face is kinda-” Kara’s own face went kind of red at the mention of Lena’s blush.

_What an awkward kid._ Lena half smiled.

“Oh yeah, I'm fine. Hey, do you want to maybe eat lunch with me today? I can buy you an ice cream bar as a lame repayment for essentially maiming you and breaking your glasses.”

“Really? I-I mean, you don't have to buy me ice cream, really. You could kick me anytime you wanted and I'd probably be cool with it.” Kara sighed, evidently done with her own mouth betraying her like this. “You know what, pretend I never said that. That was a weird thing to say. Let's go. Please.”

Lena absorbed the scene in front of her. Kara’s hair was slowly falling into her face, and she was 7 shades of red darker than what had to be considered healthy, and her mouth was running 1,739 miles per minute, and her cardigan was buttoned up the wrong way, and Lena could not hold it in anymore so she let out a single breathy laugh and grabbed Kara's (baby) face gently with a single soft hand.

Nimble fingers tucked away a loose strand of blonde hair.

“Let's go. It's not like you really had a choice anyways.” She finished her statement with a wink. (Was the wink too much? Lena was starting to think the wink was too much.)


	4. Chapter 4

Kara remembered the first time she ever dated. She was 14, and she was with a guy named James. Kara wanted to say that she loved James. They were together for a year, and in that year, Kara made so many memories that could never be forgotten. It wasn’t a bad experience, not by a long shot. He was her best friend. They laughed and cried together. Stuck with each other through the bad jokes and the first few dates and the awkward silence that filled the atmosphere until it wasn’t weird anymore. Kara felt more like herself around James, (which is just maybe why she had to let him go,) and that was more than she felt around anyone before, aside from Alex and Winn. They made moments together. They were _together_.

And these thoughts bring a smile to Kara’s lips, but deeper within, a twinge of contradiction. Because while Kara felt good while she was James, she didn’t feel right (if that makes any sense.) She came to that realization in the middle of their sophomore year. Kara was 15, James was 16, and though he was older than her, perhaps he was too young to understand. It was a bitter breakup, and Kara doesn’t like to remember the bitterness. She had liked to think about her future at the time (she would so much freer.) She had liked to think that it would be worth the pain and the tears and the look of hurt on James’ face ( _“James, I'm doing this for you. Trust me.”_ )

But if breaking up with James was what was best for the both of them, (it _had_ to be,) then she was still patiently waiting for rainbow after the storm. Nothing was working out for Kara. She was much too quiet, and even when she did speak, the majority of the sentence was filled with repeated, messy syllables, due to a nasty stutter she had acquired as a bad habit years ago. She blushed fiercely at any human being she interacted with- male or female- and she has apologized to trash cans on numerous occasions. While people were nice to her, nobody wanted to be her friend. Socializing wasn’t Kara’s forte, and she thought that she was okay with that, until her breakup with James left a hole in her heart, a bigger hole than Winn or Alex or her parents or even her cat could fill (alongside the fact that maybe Kara didn't actually _know_ what- or who- she wanted yet.)

Kara often spent her free time sketching. Sketches of anything she could see, or anything that occupied her thoughts. With that being said, her sketchbook was mostly full of drawings of her cat, the trees outside, and a dead ladybug that lay on the corner of her desk. Kara didn’t have the heart to throw her away. She even named it; Maudry. Kara didn’t really think anything else was entirely worthy of her time, she did have roughly 7.6 lbs of schoolwork to complete every night. She put partial blame on her clumsiness (falling was a pretty normal occurrence in Kara’s life) on the fact that she was top heavy due to her many textbooks.

So when she took a spill today, she didn’t expect anything other than what happens every other time she falls. But this girl (!) shows up out of nowhere (certainly not an unwelcome intervention) and messes everything up. And by messes, Kara doesn’t mean that she ruined anything. She means that this girl made her heart jump. Just once. A skipped beat that anyone else would have not given any thought to. But Kara overthinks. About everything. Anything. And she wishes she could stop thinking about Lena because it was making her confused about why her relationship with James didn’t work. What was it that James couldn’t give to Kara when she truly had everything the relationship needed (but did it have everything that she truly wanted?) Kara wishes she could stop thinking about Lena’s half smile. It was always with the left side of her mouth. And she wished that she could forget that Lena’s favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip, because that’s a really useless piece of information to store in one’s brain.

But it’s hard to stop thinking about someone when they’re walking only a few inches away from you, and the smell of the slightest fragrance of strawberries is tickling your nose, so you're concentrating on trying not to sneeze.

“Listen, I’m really sorry about today” (the sneeze sensation ceased) “I certainly never imagined that I would initiate a friendship via kicking them in the head.” Lena chuckled a bit.

“Y-you think we’re gonna be friends?” _Oh. Real friendly, Kara. 10/10 will get you friends every time._ “I mean, not that I don’t wanna be friends with you. You’re awesome, really. I love ice cream. And you!” _O H M Y G O D._ “I-I mean, I love you because you got me ice cream! Not because “I love you” love you, because that would be awkward because we just met.” Kara slammed her mouth shut. _That’s enough social for today._

Lena quirked the left side of her mouth (noted) in a half smile.

“If buying you ice cream is what buys your love and friendship for me, then I think we can do this again tomorrow. And the day after. And so on. Honestly, I feel so horrible about what happened.”

“Oh no, really it’s fine. I actually have an extra pair at home, because extra pairs evidently come in handy.” Kara gestured at her bare face, devoid of glasses.

“Hey, do you have a phone? I know we’re neighbors and all, but we can start off with just texting if you want.” Lena held up her phone, as if to assure Kara that she really meant it.

“O-oh! Yeah, I do actually. Here.” Kara handed Lena her phone. She couldn’t help but notice how Lena’s eyes lingered on Kara’s screensaver for just a moment before putting her number into Kara’s contacts. She didn’t know why though, it was only a picture of her cat. When Lena handed Kara her phone in return, she noticed Lena’s own background. A picture of her, with some boy. They didn’t really look alike. And Kara noticed something different about Lena. Her smile. It was full (and beautiful) and radiated genuine happiness. Kara likes genuine happiness and all (so why did she feel off about the picture?) It was like something wasn’t settling with her right, and she couldn’t tell what it was. Kara blinked, and brought the phone closer to her face, because she couldn’t really see the numbers clearly. As she typed the numbers carefully, her tongue poked out a tiny bit (she didn’t notice Lena’s _half_ smile at the small action.)

It wasn’t until Kara got home when she felt a faint buzz in the pocket of her jeans. She pulled it out, reading the text preview on the lockscreen from a contact named ‘Lena :)’. Kara never used any emoticons for any of her contacts. Nobody was that special. And she was about to change Lena’s name, but something about the full smile on the smiley face emoticon stopped her. It was a weird connection, but it made Kara think of Lena’s screensaver. A picture of a girl with a full heart (there was that _feeling_ again.) So Kara kept it. Maybe she’ll make an exception. Maybe it was time to start thinking that certain people are a little bit special. Kara realized that she hadn’t actually read the text yet.

Lena :): I had a fun time today. If kicking people in the head is what gives me an excuse to eat ice cream, then I’ll consider getting a job as a….head kicker.

Kara snorted, and tapped out her response.

Kara: I’m glad that I’ve finally met you after 4 years of living like 13 feet away from you. Your big scary looking house probably isn’t as scary with you in it.

Kara: Was that a weird thing to say? Texting is hard because I can’t see the look of disdain on people’s faces when I say something weird.

Lena :): That’s probably a weird thing to say. But it’s a good thing I’m just me. You don’t have to care too much.

_Aw._

Kara: Hey! I bet I wouldn’t want you any other way.

Lena :): We’ll have to go on more adventures and then find out if you still think that’s the case.

Kara: Try me.

Lena :): Will do.

It was a meaningless phrase. Nothing but an obvious response to Kara’s text (so why did she blush so fiercely?) Kara scooted over to her desk, where her pet dead ladybug resided. _Speaking of pets, where’s Bucky?_ Kara decided that he was currently unimportant, because she had newfound inspiration. She flipped through pages of rough sketches of Bucky and a few oddly detailed sketches of Maudry the Ladybug, until she reached an empty page. Clean, fresh, and untouched. A space to make her own (does it really belong to her when all she can think about is someone else?) She begins. There’s no color on the paper, but that’s irrelevant when she can clearly see the piercing green eyes behind her own eyelids.

It wasn’t until she had just begun the infamous half smile (her hand gliding delicately over the paper to capture the slight wrinkles that appeared at the corner of her mouth) when she heard the familiar buzz of her phone once more. Her lips tugged up into a smile of their own when she saw who the text was from.

Lena :): Hey...is this your cat?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! To all of you that have been reading this, sorry for the wait. I'll try to post as frequently as I can. Again, constructive criticism is welcome, please let me know what you think! Suggestions are cool too.

Lena rifled through old photo albums.  The moments that they encaptured forever were the moments that she held dearest to her heart.  Her heart fluttered halfheartedly when she looked at one of the small photos, taken in 2005.  She and Lex were sitting at an old picnic table, the sun lighting both of their hair into a fiery shade, even though Lena’s hair has always been dark.  Lena was 6 at the time, meaning she had been living with the Luthor’s for 2 years.  Lex’s arm was draped around her, pulling her tight into his side.  Lena’s grin was big and toothless, and both of them had melting ice cream cones in their hands (and on the front of their shirts and faces.)  It was like the world didn’t matter at the time, only the cookie dough ice cream and each other.

 

Lex had always made Lena feel welcome.  When her dad was indifferent and her mom made it clear that Lex was her favorite, Lex remained the same towards Lena.  He was the only part of her new family that seemed like family.  He was the only one that made this cold, empty house seem like home.

 

Lena was fully aware that she never gave anything a full smile anymore.  The last one to make her truly happy was her brother.  She still remembers the night.

 

 **November 21st, 2012**.

 

Lex affectionately pushed Lena over after she beat him in a game of chess.  

 

“You’re getting better at this game sis.  Maybe next time you can win without me going easy on you.”

 

Lena gasped in mock hurt.  She grabbed the nearest pillow and blindly threw it at him.  She snorted when it hit him square in the face.

 

She remembered how he used to look like.  His face had always been sharp, but never like this before.  The things he did carved new lines into him.  His eyes didn’t hold the same bright, wonder-filled gaze.  The bags under them were as noticeable as ever.  He was thin, his hair hung limp around his face.

 

But he was still her brother.  He still cared the same for her.  He was who she needed.  And they took him away.

 

Lex needed help, not punishment.  Yet, nobody helped him when the police busted through the door of their home.  They treated him like he was a criminal.  Like he killed people with his bare hands.  Lex never did anything bad.  He just needed help.

 

And now her brother sat in a jail cell, deprived of his family and friends and the proper care he deserved.  How could Lena allow herself to smile fully when the only person who could make her smile like that was taken away from her?  Shortly after Lex was incarcerated, the Danvers moved into the house across from her own.  It was sort of good timing, they weren’t aware of the shame that Lex brought to the Luthor’s name (Lena didn’t feel ashamed of her brother, just sad.)  She never really introduced herself to them, and neither did anyone else in her family.  Her mother was never much of a people person (or a Lena person) and her dad became withdrawn and distant after Lex was gone.  It’d explain why Kara had had no idea who Lena was (and she’s not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.)  Lena saw how Kara beamed at life, and it was like life beamed back at Kara.  Lena didn’t want to drag Kara down in any of this.  She didn’t want her to pity Lena.  She didn’t want her to meet her family.  She didn’t want Kara to get too close (too comfortable.)   That didn’t mean she didn’t want the awkward gal in her life.  Lena could use a ray of sunshine once in awhile, and Kara seemed to be the most convenient source.

 

It was a Saturday evening, and what sun was left was being shrouded by dark clouds, the leaves on the trees that lined the desolate road were beginning to rustle in the rising wind.  Lena did this on every Saturday that she could.  Saturday was his day.  It wasn’t a long walk, and even if it was, Lena would walk it anyways.  Anything to see him.  She had money, influence, and killer puppy eyes, so when she first walked to these gates as a 13 year old, the prison guards didn’t really know what to do aside from let her in.  Of course they had called her parents (but of course, they didn’t care.)  So she made it tradition.  

 

At this point, she wasn’t sure if she did it more for Lex or for herself.  And she couldn’t help but feel guilty, because doing this for herself would be downright selfish.  But she needed it.  She needed to make sure he was alright (and maybe it made her feel a little bit more alright.)  

 

They shaved his head.  She doesn’t think it’s a good look on him.  He smiles weakly.  She smiles weakly.

 

“Hey sis, how ya doin’?”  His voice was faint, tired, almost.

 

“Probably better than you, if I’m being honest.”  She gave him a look over.  Prisons are supposed to have heavy regulations on what comes in and out, but she’s certain that Lex is managing to get his hands on substances that he’s not supposed to have.  For the past 4 years that she’s been coming here, he manages to look a little more sad every time (and not emotionally.)  His skin clung to his thin frame.  His eyes were sunken and dull, and he looked irritated, almost neurotic.  He was pale.  So pale.  His veins were clearly visible.  His sores.  His bruises.  The path of a dried up tear that had traveled down his cheek on the left side of his face.

 

“Lex, what’s wrong?”  It was an empty question.  They both knew what was wrong.

 

“Lena, I’m not getting any better.  I don’t want to be here anymore.”

 

“Then get help. Our family has money Lex. We can get you out of here, we can get you a lawyer.  You just have to get better for a little bit, and then they’ll see that you don’t belong here.  Lex, we can get you out of here.”

 

Lex looked up at her sadly.  His eyes were so dark.  So empty.  Lena suppressed a shudder.

 

“That’s not what I mean sis.  I don’t wanna be here anymore.”  A tear dropped onto Lena’s outstretched hand.

 

She let it be.

 

“I don’t think I’m getting what you’re saying, Lex.  I told you, we can get you out of here.”

 

Lex stood up abruptly, and pulled Lena in, tight to him.  It was unexpected, and though the visiting room was cold, Lena suddenly felt warm.

 

“No touching.”  A bored, but authoritative, voice barked from the corner.  Lex didn’t let go.  Lena didn’t try to make him.

 

“I love you sis.  See ya soon.”  His breath was hot on her ear.  She didn’t like the feeling.  

 

“Lex?”  She said it into his shoulder.  He wasn’t acting right.  Her stomach began to flutter.

 

He released her when he heard the guard’s footsteps approaching.  When his face left the side of her head, she could feel the sticky remnants of his tears.  His own uniform was dry.  Lena didn’t understand.

 

The guard grabbed Lex’s thin arm roughly.

 

“Hey! Careful!”  Lena said it like she was a mom watching out for her child (or a scared little sister watching out for her troubled older brother, but the latter is easier to explain.)  But Lex was already through the door, and Lena was alone in the visiting room once more, just like she has always been at the end of their meetings for the past 4 years, but this conclusion felt different.  It felt like the end.

 

But that is not what Lena was telling herself.  As she was walking back home, the sun was completely gone, and the dark clouds brought rain, and leaves were flying across the road, and Lena was trying hard to tell herself that this was anything but the end.   _Lex was just being weird.  Lex was just having a bad day.  It was the drugs, not him.  It was the prison, not him._ Lena purposefully sent these thoughts flying through her head, because anything else could mean something else, and Lena didn’t want to think about that something else, because if she thought about that something else she would start crying, and if she started crying she would realize that Lex had said exactly what he meant.   " _I don’t wanna be here anymore."_

 

It’s pouring now and Lena’s certainly not rushing to get home, because home will not make her feel any better, (but maybe she knows someone who will,) and as she’s wiping the rain off of her face, she can feel her phone buzz in her back pocket.  

 

She stops under a shaking tree and pulls out her phone, not bothering to unlock it, because she can see the text right on her lock screen.

 

 **Kara:** Hey, I don’t know if you’re busy or something, but do you maybe wanna chill?

 

A second buzz follows quickly.

 

 **Kara:** I mean you don’t have to if you don’t wanna, I just thought maybe it’d be cool to associate with you.

 

Followed by a third buzz.

 

 **Kara:** Why the heck did I say associate instead of hang out what’s wrong with me.

 

Of course, Kara didn’t know that Lena was standing in the dark, shivering under a nearly leafless tree, the wind and rain lashing at her face, her dark hair plastered to her head, and her green eyes watery as she typed out her reply, but then again, Lena would never want her to.  Lena needed her sunshine.

 

 **Lena:** Of course I’ll associate with you.  See you soon.

 

Maybe the world wanted her to have a slightly better day.

  
Still, she can’t stop a tear from falling as she quickens her pace (she tries to tell herself it’s the rain.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, to those of you that read this. I have more time on my hands now. This is a pretty short chapter, but I think I'm going to either a) update more frequently with shorter chapters, or b) update with longer chapters, but slightly less frequently. Let me know if you guys have a preference!

It was a Saturday evening, and to put it frankly, Kara was ecstatic. She had never really had many friends growing up, much less had friends come into her house. Well, she had Winn, but he didn’t count. Okay, he counted, but not like, counted counted. Alongside the fact that Kara was essentially without an abundance of real friends, her sister (someone she counted as her closest friend, as lame as that sounds) was (still) gone for college, meaning Kara had spent many nights and days spending her time alone, left to her own devices.

Knowing Lena for only like two weeks, Kara wasn’t exactly confident in her plan to have her come to her house. Granted “the plan” was literally just asking Lena over text, but Kara got anxious about things like that. What if Lena didn’t actually want to associate with Kara? What if she only felt obligated to because she had unintentionally caused Kara actual bodily harm and now she felt like she felt like she had to say yes to the invite? What if she doesn’t like Chinese food, (which is what Kara intended to order for dinner,)? What if she thought that The Flash was stupid and refused to watch tonight’s episode with Kara? These were thoughts and matters of utmost importance, and all the possibilities were racing through Kara’s now throbbing head when her phone shook with a quick buzz. Kara’s lips tugged up at both ends when she realized that she still had the same contact name for Lena that the other girl had put in for herself.

 **Lena :)** : Of course I’ll associate with you. See you soon.

Kara couldn’t help but let out a gust of air. She was genuinely relieved. A throbbing head was traded in for a fluttery stomach, and she pinned it on her nerves.

She checked her watch. 5:04. She checked the window, and was surprised to see that it was unexpectedly dark, with heavy rain pouring down from the sky, coming in at a slant due to the wind. She frowned slightly. Did Lena have a car, or a ride at the very least?

The phone rang twice before someone picked up on the other end.

“Kara? Why are you calling?”

Lena’s voice sounded weak, almost. It dampened Kara’s spirit a little.

“I just wanted to know if you were all set getting here. Do you have a ride or something?” Kara thought she heard the thundering rain just a little too clearly in the background, but it was, after all, very heavy and thunder-y rain.

“Oh, yea. Yea I’m all set. I’m actually almost there. Like maybe 10 minutes away, if that’s cool with you.”

“Oh yea, of course! Yea I’ll be here. Cause this is my house. Which is where I live, so yea, I’ll be here.” Kara almost ended the call right there. She was sure that Lena could feel the heat flushing from Kara’s face through the phone. (She didn’t catch Lena’s laugh, for it was concealed and carried away by the fierce wind,)

“Ok cool, see you soon pal.” The line went silent, and the actual rain outside seemed to hush now that the rain over the phone was gone.

She knew it was only 10 minutes, but every time Kara looked at the clock, it was like the second hand had moved backwards. She busied herself by making her bed, brushing her teeth, eating an apple, and just shuffling around her house in general, and when she glanced at the clock again, she still had an entire 3 minutes to spare. So naturally, she stationed herself at the door, lifting the corner of the curtain so she could peek outside. She was awaiting a gleaming pair of headlights, so when a gleaming pair of green eyes suddenly stared her back in the eyes, she just screamed. She quickly regained her composure though. She knew of only one person with green eyes (unless this wasn’t that one person she knew with green eyes for some odd reason,) so she flung open the door, perhaps just a little too hurriedly, because she ended up smashing the corner of it into her pinky toe, which resulted in Kara (melo)dramatically falling to the floor while Lena gathered the scene before her. Kara, whilst tending to her now throbbing toe, didn’t noticed Lena’s runny nose, her plastered hair, her soaked clothes, and her shivering figure, until she heard a throaty snort from above her.

“Oh my god Lena, you’re soaking wet. But of course you knew that. Why aren’t you standing inside now what the heck?”

“You know, I’d really love to be standing inside, but you’re sort of in my way” Lena replied with friendly sarcasm.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! Here, I’ll mo-FRICK!” Kara had re-stubbed the same pinky toe in her efforts to move out of Lena’s way.

“Woah kid, better watch the language, your parents might hear.”

“My parents aren’t home, and I absolutely have to get you out of those clothes.” (Did Kara even think about 96% of the words that came out of her mouth before she spoke them?)

Through now chattering teeth, Lena laughed.

“Geez Kara, take a girl to dinner first.”

Kara knew that Lena couldn’t feel the butterflies currently going haywire in Kara’s stomach, but she sincerely hoped that she somehow missed the fiery blush that grew across Kara’s cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

Lena may have been soaked to her bone, shivering in her clothes that stuck tight to her frame, but maybe that was why she could practically feel the heat that was radiating off Kara’s face. Lena didn’t mean to make her blush so furiously, as a matter of fact, she didn’t think her words carried that kind of weight at all. _Perhaps I’m giving myself too much credit_ , she thought to herself. Afterall, Kara did sputter out a fairly embarrassing statement. That alone would certainly be enough to make herself blush.

Kara took Lena by the hand, and led her up a staircase. They went down the hall to the last door, where Kara shuffled Lena inside with almost a mother-like nature (not that Lena would know how real moms treat their daughters.) Kara stationed Lena and went into the corner of her room where her dresser was, shuffling through several drawers until she held up what she was looking for. A pair of sweatpants.

“Ha, found them! Take off your pan-” Kara decidedly stopped herself from finishing the rest of her sentence. “I mean, I can turn around or something. The bathroom is right down the hallway. Or maybe I can take off my pants too, then it wouldn’t be as awkward.” Lena just stared at her. “You’re right, that would definitely be a lot more awkward. Please just take the pants. And also this shirt. It’s my favorite.” Lena let Kara ramble on, because it wasn’t exactly awkward, and Lena could tell that she was trying, and trying is more than most people ever did for Lena. She grabbed the clothes from Kara.

“I’ll be right back” Lena said. She was answered by a soft, sheepish, smile.

She found the bathroom easily. She slipped inside and shut the door, and laid out the clothes that Kara had given her on the countertop. The sweatpants read “Hufflepuff” down the side, and Lena couldn’t help but snort. Of course she knew of Harry Potter, and the fact that Kara would dub herself as a Hufflepuff made all too much sense to Lena. She had only known her for a short time, but Kara had expressed more compassion than Lena had really received in her lifetime. Lena wanted to get out of her soaked clothes as quickly as possible, but she struggled more than she would like to admit with getting her jeans off (wet jeans should be considered a safety hazard.) Safety hazard indeed, because whilst attempting to strip her pants off her legs, she fell. And not like a ‘whoops silly me’ but like a ‘flat on your face smash your nose and say goodbye to your teeth’ kind of fall. The impact certainly dazed her, and it must’ve also made an impressive thud, because the next thing she knew, Kara was in the bathroom, taking in the scene that was Lena face first on the floor with wet jeans around her ankles (and honestly she wouldn’t be surprised if blood was pooling around her head.) For the second time in one day, Lena made Kara scream (is that an accomplishment?).

“Oh my god Lena! Are you dead?”

“No” Lena groaned from the floor. It was either the floor, the blood, or the swollen lips muffling her response, or more likely a mixture of all three.

“I’ve never had this happen to me before. Lena what do I do?” Kara was definitely panicking in a situation that definitely didn’t call for this much panic.

A little bit spent from the experience, Lena’s would be sarcastic reply was replaced with a tentative request.

“Could you help me up, please.”

“Y-yea. Duh. Of course. Currently helping you up,” which wasn’t exactly false, as Kara gently rolled Lena over and gathered her entire body into her arms. Which were surprisingly strong (did she work out or something? Damn.) Kara carried her back into her bedroom seemingly easily, as if Lena weighed no more than a toddler.

“Kara, you didn’t tell me you were a professional body builder.” Through fat lips and a blood clotted nose, Lena managed to make the remark.

“O-oh, these-” Kara pointed at her arms, “yeah, no. It must be genetics or something. Not that I would know. I’m actually adopted.” She chuckled nervously, probably fearing that she had revealed to much in one go.

Lena was actually pleased, in a way.

“You’re adopted?” She noticed how Kara’s head ducked (almost shamefully, or maybe sorrowfully?) and Lena quickly added; “I’m adopted too, you know.” Kara looked up curiously, but she didn’t make any inquiries. Instead, she crawled on to the bed, approaching Lena agonizingly slow, with (what Lena wanted to call it) an almost dangerous look on her face. She thought Kara would stop, but she didn’t, not until she was but inches away from her face.

“Lena, you’ve got blood everywhere,” she said, dabbing at Lena’s bloodied face with a wet cloth. It was undeniably soothing, and she made no qualms. Even through her stuffed nose, she could easily distinguish Kara’s familiar scent. It smelled like home. Like warm pie, with whipped cream and cinnamon, and it was oddly endearing, and once again, Lena found Kara approaching Lena’s face with her own face until she wasn’t approaching anymore (like Kara had suddenly realized something. What could’ve crossed her mind?) Her thoughts were racing, and Lena didn’t mean for them to, but growing up the way she did, she had to learn to analyze all the possibilities. As she felt that she was coming to a conclusion, a conclusion that was almost foreign to her brain, (but nonetheless fitting for the events happening (and now that she was thinking about it, events prior to this,)) Kara interrupted her mind.

“Hey, do you like pot stickers? Cause I was gonna order some, if you wanted.” Lena almost sighed internally. Of course it was food on Kara’s mind, and not anything else. Despite the fact that she had Kara’s friendship, and several others, Lena sometimes wanted more.

She remembered the way Lex used to make her feel when he wasn’t in such a terrible place. She just wanted to feel that again.

But perhaps for now, with Kara inches away from her face, eagerly awaiting Lena’s answer like a loyal puppy, perhaps for now, with a budding friendship and pot stickers and Kara’s warm scent tickling her nose, perhaps for now, this was enough.

And despite the fact that she smashed herself into Kara’s floor the first time visiting, despite the fact that Lex maybe wasn’t feeling too great about his situation, despite the fact that Lena was still slightly cold from her wet jeans that were still pulled only halfway down her legs...speaking of which…

“I love pot stickers, but we only order them on one condition; for God’s sake Kara Danvers, take my pants off.”

The rate of which Kara’s face grew red was almost exponential.

Oh yes. Despite all the downs in Lena Luthor’s life, she could definitely live with this.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay. This was definitely new.  Kara didn’t actually remember the last time she had a girl come to her house. It had always been Winn on game nights, or James when she was feeling particularly lonely.  And even when she did have a girl over, which must’ve been at some point (maybe Lucy a few years back, who knows,) it was never the experience that this night had been so far.

 

And the night was far from over.

 

Kara was as flustered as it gets, really.  

 

_ No Kara, it wasn’t because she asked you to take her pants off. This is a totally normal reaction for anyone who has just witnessed their friend have a near death experience on their bathroom floor. I’m normal. _

 

(Kara had never really been the persuasive or convincing type when it came to anyone or anything, including herself.)

 

Now here she was, alone in her house, aside from the girl that was sitting next to her on Kara’s couch. The girl whose pants that she had just removed but minutes ago. Not that she wanted to take off Lena’s pants. She just wanted the pot stickers.  _ That definitely counted as an ultimatum. “Take off my pants or receive no food!” That’s legitimate! _

 

(Cue the uncertainty.)

 

And it wasn’t even really like that, so why did Kara think there was more to it. Lena was obviously just tired, and wet jeans were admittedly a hassle to remove. Kara was simply the help. (Maybe in this moment, she wanted to be more than the help.)

 

But she supposed the moments after is what made the hassle worthwhile. Turns out, Lena indeed enjoyed  _ The Flash _ , as well as pot stickers, as well as Kara’s couch, and took a particular liking to Bucky, Kara’s cat.

 

“I’m not at all jealous that Bucky is sitting on your lap instead of mine.” Kara smiled softly as she extended a hand to pet Bucky, who was more than content on Lena’s lap.

 

“Maybe he wouldn’t like me so much if someone in this household actually learned to keep him in at night instead of letting him manage to wander into the neighbor’s house.”

 

Kara’s mouth dropped in mock offense.

 

“We allow free will in this household. I don’t know about you, but my parents aren’t monsters.” Kara made the statement lightheartedly. It was a complete joke. And she knew that Lena realized that.

 

Which is why Kara realized something was wrong when the smirk fell from Lena’s face. When her eyes dropped their gaze to the floor and her hand that was propping her up to look at Kara fell back into her lap. She twisted her fingers.

 

It lasted only for a second before she shook her head lightly, attempting to clear the air.

 

But the air before Kara had turned to smoke. This was an indicator. A sign that screamed  _ Kara, you have so much yet to learn. _

 

Kara was young. She was awkward, she was shy, she was scared at times. She was confused, she was searching. But she was never sad. She was never in danger. She was far from danger, ever since she was adopted by the Danvers, she was given no reason to ever feel anything but safe.  _ Maybe that’s it. _ Maybe Lena was upset because her biological parents had not been optimal. Kara believed that perhaps connecting over the fact that they were both adopted would help cheer her up.

 

(She was soon to find

 

she was so wrong.)

 

“Hey,” Kara gently reached out, intercepting Lena’s intertwined fingers, replacing them with her own, “you wanna talk about some good times?”

 

Evidently, Lena did a better job at repressing her emotions this time (Lena didn’t remember the last time something was a good time with her family,) because Kara continued.

 

Kara was a hopeless, incessant, babbler. She loved her family. She couldn’t think of any genuinely sad moments of her life with the Danvers.

 

In any other circumstance, this would be a good thing.

 

In this circumstance, less than a good thing.

 

Kara simply wouldn’t shut up. She gushed to Lena about Alex, mostly. Her sister, her top priority, her best friend, her protector, her everything that mattered most to her. (Little did she know that at one point, Lena had a someone who had everything that mattered most to her.) Kara fiddled with Lena’s fingers, taking in their shape. She squeezed each of them between her own forefinger and thumb, as if giving each individual finger reassurance (how was Kara not noticing that they held a slight tremor, one that grew steadily more violent as she went on.) She told Lena about the day Alex came out to her. She remembered how Alex fiddled with her hands, to the likes of what Lena was doing with her own hands earlier. Kara remembered the waiver in her sister’s voice, cracks that betrayed Alex’s superficial confidence. Kara remembered how scared Alex was; how her own sister thought that she wouldn’t be looked at the same, how she thought that she wouldn’t hold the same place in her family’s hearts as she did before. Kara laughed to herself. Why would Alex think that Kara would ever,  _ ever _ , treat her without the love she deserved.

 

“Why would she think that I wouldn’t love her the same? What kind of family member does that to their family?” Kara grew silent with content, with sunny memories floating about her brain.

 

Until she heard a sniffle.

 

Her head snapped up quickly, only to find that Lena’s head had once again dropped (out of sadness? Or was it shame that Kara saw?)

 

Kara could not find Lena’s emerald eyes, but she saw the single tear roll down a smooth, flawless, cheek. It cut a path down her jawline, off her chin, and made it to it’s destination, gently splashing onto Kara’s outstretched hand. 

 

Kara could almost feel the emotional weight that the tear held.

 

“Lena…” Kara attempted.

“I-I… not here, Kara. N-not now.” The plea sounded desperate. Kara had no choice but to oblige. 

 

Kara was was never the best at knowing what to do next. But in this moment, her next course of action came to her as easily as the wind could stir leaves on a tree.

 

She gathered Lena in her arms, where the now sobbing girl laid her head on Kara’s shoulder. She could feel the tears soak through her shirt. She could feel the tremors coursing through Lena’s body. A body of someone who was so strong (what could have possibly broken her down like this?)

 

“I-I’m sorry.” It was a whisper, and even more so muffled by sniffles and Kara’s shoulder.

 

“Don’t ever be sorry for this, Lena.”

 

Kara didn’t let go.

 

When she felt the tremors stop, and Lena’s breathing even out, she felt something inside of her (whatever it was, 

  
it only made Kara hold on to Lena tighter.)


	9. Chapter 9

_ “Lena darling, stop your crying. You’re a Luthor, and Luthor’s don’t show signs of weakness, remember?” _

 

Since the age of four, Lena’s learned to be strong.

 

_ “Lena, these grades are terrible. I expected better out of you. You’re a Luthor, remember?” _

 

Since the age of four, Lena’s learned to exceed expectations.

 

_ “No, absolutely not. You are not to go to anyone’s houses. You must focus on your studies and piano lessons.” _

 

Since the age of four, Lena’s learned how to be alone.

 

_ “This is preposterous, Lena. I raised you better than that. You are not to talk to her anymore. You will come straight home after school. You will not leave this house unless I permit you to. Luthor's are not this shameful.” _

 

Since the age of four, Lena’s learned how to be anyone but herself.

 

Flashbacks of all the moments she’s had with her mother; all the moments she has hated most in her life. They were lighting up the inside of her eyelids. Her mother’s disapproval, fresh and bitter in Lena’s head.

 

_ Luthor's are not this shameful. _

 

_ You’re a Luth- _

 

Lena bolted upright. She was drenched, both in a cold sweat and tears. Her lips were dry, but when she licked them, she recoiled at the taste of her dry, salty, tears. She observed the scene. She was still at Kara’s house. The T.V. was still on, flashing some show that she didn’t know of. A nearby clock on the wall read the time. 10:47 a.m.

 

Lena was about to panic, until she looked down to find that she was practically straddling Kara.

 

Kara looked serene. All traces of worry that had etched her face when she was comforting Lena were gone. Her breathing was even. It was peaceful.

 

But the sense of panic was back.

 

Lena was a Luthor.

 

Luthor’s weren’t weak. Luthor’s didn’t depend on anyone. 

 

She couldn’t. She shouldn’t have let Kara see her like that. She couldn’t.

 

She couldn’t have Kara thinking that Lena couldn’t handle herself. She couldn’t let Kara think that Lena wanted someone;  _ needed _ someone.

 

And Lena was scared, because she  _ had  _ needed Kara. When Lena had broken down at the thought of a pleasant family; at a happy life, she felt it in her heart.

 

A hole. One that was created long ago, when Lex had left.

And how could she have forgotten about Lex? Lena couldn’t allow herself distractions, not when other things in her life mattered more. Not when her brother was like this, not now.

 

Looking down, her mind was in pieces. Kara was so perfect, laying on her couch. Her blonde, wavy, hair was thrown in a messy bun. Her glasses were askew. Lena was tempted to fix them, but she didn’t want to disturb her. Lena knew that she should’ve gotten up, maybe fix herself up in the bathroom and return to the couch, let Kara sleep for a little longer. She knew that she shouldn’t linger like this, and take in every detail of the younger girl’s face. Lena knew she shouldn’t have been leaning in so close. So close that she could see the light blonde peach fuzz on her slightly agape mouth. So close that she could feel Kara’s warm breath on her own lips. A familiar voice rang in her head. The voice she always dreaded most in life.

 

_ I raised you better than that. _

 

_ You’re a Luthor, Lena. _

 

10:50 a.m.

 

The panic was back.

 

Her mother would be expecting her home any moment. Lena has learned long ago; she should not let her mother’s expectations down.

 

She had learned that the hard way.

 

The most recent was when she was 14 years old. Lex was gone, and it had taken Lena about a year to get over it. To finally stop letting herself use him as an excuse to hold back on life. To be herself, shine a little more.

 

She was feeling confident that day. Her mother didn’t seem to be as prickly. When Lena returned from school that day, her mother greeted her with a smile (it did not hold any love, but it lacked the usual malice.) Lena placed too much faith into that smile. She read far too deep into it.

 

_ “Mother, I have something to tell you.”  _ Lena recalled fidgeting with her hands nervously. 

 

_ “Yes, what is it?”  _ Her mother’s voice lacked emotion. Lena chose to ignore the fact.

 

_ “I-I-”  _ she had to gather her thoughts, this was not as easy as she had hoped for. She took a shaky breath.  _ “There’s a girl. I like her- I like her a lot.”  _ Lena lifted her gaze to meet her mother’s eyes. Her eyes were searching, hoping to find acceptance. Just a bit of compassion, understanding,  _ anything. _

 

Her mother extended a quick hand, a swift slap across Lena’s right cheek. It stung. But what maybe stung more were her words. Her biting, scathing words.

 

_ “Luthor’s are not this shameful. You are nothing of mine.” _

 

Lena snapped back to reality, finding herself rubbing her right cheek softly. Also finding herself as close to Kara as she had ever been. So. Close.

 

Lena couldn’t have any of it. She told herself this before, and she’s telling herself now.

 

_ For her own good. For my own good. _

 

Lena slowly lifted herself up and away from Kara. She didn’t want to disturb her, no. She just wanted to leave. She had to go.

 

10:54 a.m.

 

Kara stirred.

 

“Lena?” Kara adjusted her glasses, just in time to see Lena stand up hurriedly. Lena had to leave.

 

“I have to go.” Lena’s words put a pout on Kara’s confused face. She wanted to make it go away.

 

“If this is about last night, it’s okay. You have nothing to be ashamed of Lena. I’m your friend.”

 

_ I have everything to be ashamed of. _

 

“No, it’s- I- I have to go, Kara.” This time, Kara’s eyes grew worrisome. Another needle through Lena’s heart.

 

“Really, it’s fine,” Kara’s voice grew concerned. “Lena, please tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“Nothing’s wrong Kara. Stop.” She didn’t mean to raise her voice like that. She didn’t mean to bang her fist into the wall. 

 

She didn’t mean to put fear in Kara’s eyes.

Lena did catch that, it didn’t matter that Kara’s eyes returned to their worried state just a fraction after the fear had been there. All that mattered was that it was there. And Lena had done that.

 

“I have to go. I’m sorry.”

 

Kara got up then, tried to grab Lena’s arm. Tried to make her stay. But Lena had had practice. She’s run away before. 

 

Since the age of four, Lena’s learned how to turn her back on the things (on the people) she’s cared about.

 

As she ran in the late morning sun, the tears returned, but not because she was reminiscing on her lack of love growing up.

 

Because she was thinking about her blossoming love for Kara.

 

And she ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't be afraid to leave thoughts, suggestions, or requests! thanks guys!


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